When your pulp novel sci-fi adventure plays more like a two plus hour commercial for bronze tanner than it does a thrilling franchise starter, you know you've Barsoom-ed your way into the Restroom...
JOHN CARTER deals with an 1800's cavalry man (Taylor Kitsch) who discovers an alien medallion in a cave that teleports him to ancient Mars where he finds himself in the middle of a CGI alien war for control of the planet. What follows are a punishing 132 minutes of overloaded mythologies, bronze tanner, kid friendly creatures, unconvincing romance, and actress Lynn Collins decked out like she's appearing as a weekend belly dancer in a cheap Indian restaurant.
This cinematic pulp fiction mess is available for streaming on Amazon, but as always, you're better off leaving this non-franchise starter to us and go watch DUNE again instead.
Our special guest this time out is author and historian Jay Sandlin. Jay is the creator and founder of The Novel Comics: Alternate History. With Superheroes. The first volume, Outbreak Mutiny, is available on Amazon.
Sit back now and give a listen as Griffin, Polton, & Knight flush you down the Cinematic Bowl with, JOHN CARTER...
